Musings on Monday Mornings

I am always attracted to people who are integral enough to be inconsistent without discordance and who don't trail viscous threads of regret behind them. I don't think that it is on the threshold of life that one feels chaotic, it is when one has crossed the threshold that one discovers that things which looked simple and feelings that felt simple are infinitely more tortuous and complex. That it is only in inconsistency that there is any consistency.

Just realised that for someone requesting everyone else to talk, my mail was disgustingly sparse. :) Well ladies, I am generally well. I.E. my life is flowing along the natural course of inevitability. But having said that, life still bites me, out of the course of natural events, in my ass. And that though one has been bitten before it still surprisingly hurts in new ways. I still cry with the kind of tears one used to enjoy (luxuriously) in the early teens. Not so. One can still shake up that kind of emotion, which though exhausting is very purging. But as I grow I am realising consciously how much we self censor. No one says out loud that their heart is breaking. Slowly and painfully. Even if it is because we don't get the (hypothetical) bearded communist poet, or the kind of understanding we want reciprocated from a spouse, or the dream many years in the making, or the lack of truthful friends.........or many other 'ors'. I suppose one should once in a while fall in a t...