God and a little bit of wind with Force

Life is interesting. Your entire universe starts revolving around the whims of an infant. One who cannot communicate like from dislike and where you are left second guessing every single move.
I sometimes wonder if he knows love. Love that understands and comprehends choice and sacrifice. When I look down at his sleeping face I understand the compromises I am making in being there, the choices disregarded...but his love is simpler, purer. Its a love of necessity, of absolute faith. I suppose the only other manifestation of that kind of love in our lives is in the love for the Omnipotent. A love, simultaneously, of necessity and implicit trust. And yet, I seem to use the word 'love' far too liberally. Man's relationship with Allah is more of helplessness. You have no choice because at a certain point in despair you have no other option than to leave everything to the encompassing ocean of hope. And since we can't bear the thought of no one holding on to the thread and directions of our lives, we have to believe in a higher deity.

Or something like it. May be.

I am meandering aimlessly. This is not a philosophical note. It is a whimsical one.

So I've started a new blog. Well, rather, I intend to start blogging on a new blog. Something about the nuances of Pakistanis living abroad...or the like. You never know with me. I start something and then I just fart about it. (Waoh, God and wind in the same blog. Talk about a nosedive). However may be it might be something worth looking into later.

Daniyal is teething. Or I think he is. I've been crying wolf ("crying tooth") on the teeth since he was two months old. I think I've lost all ground on this one. But I suppose I am closer to the mark now than I was five months ago. Eventually he will pop a tooth. The wretched truth though is, he's miserable through the nights now. Weepy and cranky with an abysmal whimper that just kills me. Oh and the sleep is slim too. His and mine.

....I am caught been the word and the screen right now. Star Wars is running its quarterly marathon on one of the channels and I am distracted.

The Force is strong and it beckons.
I come Master.

(Star Wars always wins. Share we too much past with this one. Hmmm)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sheep in wolves clothing

Lahore: the city that never sleep. My city of saints, my city of sinners. I am back. For that annual homecoming rite that is a two-week passage of both chaos and excitement, of exaggerated expectations and serendipitous surprises, familiar exhaustion of too much, and too little family. Of paradoxes and mixed emotions. I am home. Every trip the potholes seem deeper, the traffic wilder, the energy crisis more critical...the corruption unconquerable. And yet, no where in the world do the crows crow like they do here. Or the trees on the canal, play with the winter sunlight. No where do oranges and mandarins grow the same earthy smell like a second skin... and no where are the electricity cuts with candles as romantic as here. Throw in a thunderstorm and this place is my version of heaven. If I was an eloquent Pakistani expatriate, I would write a poem worthy of this place; of my convoluted devotion, adoration and obsession juxtaposed with hatred, despair and apathy for here. But I am just...
Read more

La Vie En Rose (Seeing Life through Rose Coloured Glasses)~

Bruce Springsteen always united Ami and me. First there was Dancing in the Dark and then this. Today I stuck a tape in the CD player, which in itself is a visit down memory lane in this digital-infested world, and hearing the song felt the strongest urge to fall in a puddle and get a hearty weeping. How did she do it? That gentle swaying between the feet like a footballer getting the blood flowing to those knotty nerves, while she clicked away on the fingers, head rolled down at an angle and eyes closed. I recall that she always tried to pull me in tango style into the dance but I was too self conscious to let my self go. And then she would grin, goofy style (my mother, she would grin goofy style) and sing the lyrics out of tune and often wrong. And today as the song blared at an obscenely high volume and I looked out the curtain-less window onto an unusually darkened, somewhat melancholy back yard, was reminded of all the missed times when I didn’t dance. Some bugger sang it right: “I...
Read more

Cheers for my Sunny Disposition

We had to go into the depths of purgatory but we retrieved it. The hint of a smile, that damned sunny disposition. Into the clout we rode, deep. Via Stygian we strived, hard against a tide that threatened with every wave to drown us all the way to the deep and murky depths of the Underworld. Covered in black, bruised, we buried deeper into a place where there was no light no hope.......all to retrieve her smile. Like treasure hunters that know not their treasure but continue in the name of a glory, we continued. All around tired souls lured us with their melancholic tunes, their tear-glistening attractive faces. But no! We must not look. Purgatory held its charm. The inferno with its ferocious fire that burned the heart. And then we stumbled upon it. A faint light in the depths of the abyss. A golden hue that lone sparkled, weak like a month trapped in a bell jar. And she fell upon. Stumbled rather, on account of a faint heart and weak legs. It grew--the light--shining harder, stronger...
Read more